Bound For Mexico

She had herself an epiphany and then she found the highly holy. Obviously, the picnic is ruined.

She’s high above you and she’s not coming down. You can almost feel the glow. She is radiant, bathed in glowing white that reaches outwards like a biblical illustration. She speaks in a soft voice that can be heard for a thousand miles. It speaks over the r&b station and the cooking channel. It sounds so intimate and personal, yet everyone hears it just the same. People are coming by buses and jammed sedans to witness something new. You turn away and hope she can’t see your face.

You’re crying now, as people pass with joy and hunger for the profound. You love her and she loves you, but hers isn’t the same as yours; it’s holy and universal. She loves the world now and has no capacity in her to love just one guy. You turn around and see an open laughing smile. It’s wide and infectious. It’s something alien, compared to her old secret smile that slightly curled at the edges. You take all of those moments you had and you wrap them around you. It’s your very own safety blanket protecting yourself from the joyous pilgrims.

The woman you’ve loved since high school is now a messiah and you’ve got to make peace with that. Right now, you’re walking back to your car and your somehow building anger at all the happy people. They’re hoarding in on something you still think as your own. Even then, it wasn’t yours but it sure as hell wasn’t their’s. You opened the door and get in your car. You can still smell her, but that might be nostalgia mixing with olfactory.

They’re tapping on your window and pointing towards her. You’re smiling and waving them off. You turn the engine over and make a very slow u turn. You’re angry, but not quite psychopathic enough to mow them down. You start moving away from her, south down towards Juarez. It’s going to be a while as you’re fifteen miles north of Cheyenne. Ten miles out, you can still see her in your rear view mirror.

You get bored after a while and you tune in. She speaks those true things that everyone pretty much knows. Being good to each other is the only sustainable way to be. We all want food, shelter and warmth. We are small and capable of great things. We must do better. You agree, you really do but you can’t just forgive her, not yet.

You cross the border and leave Wyoming. You feel yourself getting older as your finding critique and counterpoint to every ting this the little deity is saying. The problems are we can’t agree, we’re hungry and poor. There’s going to be war, there always is. Then she goes and names her first prophet, the one heading south to spread the word. It’s you, of course.

There is still a little of Ellen left in her, she has always been one to volunteer others. It’ll take you a bit longer to forgive her but our Lord Ellen knows your still young.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Carson Margedant
    Dec 10, 2010 @ 11:09:46

    That makes two stories that reference the same Cake song.

    Reply

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