The Problem With Eternity

“I’m ready love.”

She speaks in a sweet voice but I can’t help think about where that voice came from. I remember reading the medical charts. Her name was Juanita Henderson and she was a gifted singer who sadly proved to be no match for a knife. They called it a mugging but I’m pretty sure the man who did it would have no problems with money: my wife pays handsomely. Anyways, who goes looking for a wallet and steals a larynx instead.

It’s not all her fault, we’ve got kind of an abstract grip on what death is. Most people have a problem with dying, we don’t. It’s not that we accept death, it’s just that we don’t die. We’re just too rich. Was a time when even us elite of the elite would have to die but with money and the amazing professionals that money can buy we’ve overcome these hurdles.

She’s got a bit of an organ habit actually. I don’t condone it, but she doesn’t seem to mind me being angry at her for a decade or two. She knows that she can wait me out and I’ll forget about it. Truth be told, my memory sort of overwrites every twelve years. I guess I’ve been overusing it; got a bit of a habit myself I’m afraid. That’ll be fixed soon as the experts finally finish that memory extension.

I use to jones for organs too but somewhere along my fourth heart, I got tired of replacing the damn things and set to finding me a better one. So after twenty years and fifteen models, I finally settled on a model that comes with a little mp3 player and stereo. I wanted surround, but seemed like a poor sticking point when talking about an artificial heart. Has worked for the last hundred years, although I’ve had to replace the mp3 player three times.

That’s when it hit me, I’ve saved lives just by not needing a heart. I don’t need a heart, so my employees don’t have to find me one and nobody has to lose one. I’ve save even more when you consider how many people are alive today thanks to my assembly line model synthetic heart. It lacks the mp3 player (tested poorly anyways) but it functions just the same. Now, I’m replacing all my organs with artificial models. By and by, of course.

I’ve really gotten interested in reducing my death toll. By next year, I won’t even be killing people for fine china. It’s really a wasteful practice and I can’t even taste the lack of human suffering. Plus, porcelain does look better. The only downside to my hobby is I can’t really enjoy my wife’s voice anymore. It’s just so wasteful, she doesn’t even sing.

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