A Fine Mess

I know it’s cruel to tell you this, but there is no room for you there. It’s a simple machine, it pumps and that’s all it does. If something were to fall out of kilter, if a beat was just a little off, I could die. Then you’d die with me and neither of us would be happy. I’ll keep you somewhere in my mind and lord knows quite a bit of the poison in my liver can be directly attributed to you. You’ll be in here, I swear. Just can’t lie any more, I’m not keeping you in my heart.

It’s been ten years, I should be over it but I’m not. You got to admit, Mark didn’t work out too well for you. If you stayed with me that night, your mother wouldn’t have to come over the next morning. She wouldn’t be such a wreck waiting up for you. She wouldn’t have found you like she did, like I did. Don’t know what the concrete wall did to make you so mad, but you and Mark sure showed it.

I drove your mom to the morgue to identify your remainders. I identified Mark while I was there; it was good of the morgue to have enough for everybody. When the implications hit her, she looked mortified. I really didn’t know a face could be quite that ironic. I convinced her you weren’t his type. I tried convincing myself but I remember who had you first. The ride back to her house was quiet.

He got to be with you and I got your mother. Despite the rather gruesome ending, I find myself jealous of that man. He had to have that last cosmic hustle. It felt like I was back in middle school, and he was cleaning me out while keeping the pea in his palm the whole time. Rotten bastard, I hope you’re not sleeping with him… but make sure he’s doing alright.

You ever thought that maybe all that lying was unhealthy? It’s not like you could ever hide anything. I found the receipts, I found the matchbooks, I know where you guys were going. Hell, I even found the empty menthol cartons. Only thing I don’t know is, why the hell didn’t you tell me? Was it that shameful to fall off the wagon?

While I’m asking questions you can’t answer I got one last one for you. Why didn’t you two wear seat belts? I actually did think you were giving him head for a second. The I realized, it was just that typical stupid that you two got when you were alone. Really, I’m just glad you weren’t playing Ship’s Mast again.

Anyways, just came around tell you about where you are in me. I’m still pissed at both of you, but I’m finally cooling down a little about that. Tell Mark, he’s got a place too.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Carson Margedant
    Jan 10, 2011 @ 09:20:08

    More dead people. People like dead people right? I hope they do, because that seems to be my specialty.


  2. somethingnewplease
    Jan 10, 2011 @ 22:02:08

    The entire piece is very mysterious and keeps the attention. I think the first few lines of the first paragraph are my favorite though. They are unique, which is a rarity in the writing you find on most blogs.



    • Carson Margedant
      Jan 11, 2011 @ 13:44:15

      Yeah, it’s my strength really. The moment after I read the first page of Their Eyes Were Watching God, I knew that the game was all about putting your best foot forward. Thanks for the kind words.


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