The bar was open and the well drinks were five dollars. Everything was fine in David’s barely lit world. Then, romance entered the air: stale and smell slightly of urine just like everything else. Jessica came screaming and crying out of the bathroom with black eye forming and her usual drama in tow.

“Which one did you get hit by rant or rave?”


Rave was Tiffany’s left and so labeled across the knuckles. She was very creative with her choices of tattoos, that and her generally hostile personality were her most endearing qualities. Her left hook was less endearing and more painful. David was feeling quite pragmatic about this violent affair. Still, he winced waxing nostalgic for the first time he was on the wrong end of rave.

“Well, Jessica what did you do?”

“What did I do? I got hit.”

“Tiffany is a lot of things but none of them are random. There is always causality and it’s usually our favorite shit starting blond pixie .”

“I made reference to her lesbian girlfriend that she was committed deeply too while she was talking up a guy.”

“Her lesbian girlfriend who is?”

“Me and not real.”

“Have we learned anything?”

“It’s wrong to want?”

“Close enough pumpkin.”

Tiffany left with a new beau. She threw David an incredolous glance as he held onto Jessica’s hand. Her dark ample properly impressive bounty leaving soon after. David turned his attention back to Jessica, who was crying into a mug of O’douls. Amazingly, he loved the woman. If only she wasn’t gay and a little less evil; then this beard thing would really work a lot better.