The Paragon, Indiana Puritan Trials

“I saw Sharon consorting with Lizzie Proctor.”

“So Mr. Holtz still hasn’t changed his syllabus? That’s the same time of the year I had it.”

“But Lizzie Proctor wasn’t a witch.”

“Oh my gods, she’s a puritan. Burn her!”

“We don’t do that here.”

“Burn her in effigy!”

“No, we don’t trust you with matches Bill.”

“Damn it, I’m going back to the goths.”

“Last time I was there, the goth scene wasn’t really happening in Martinsville.”

“Sharon stop helping, and fuck sake Bill, this is not a clique; it’s a religion.”

“Worst religion ever. I’m going home.”

“Bill doesn’t have a car.”

“You think we should go after him?”

“I know it’s not in the teachings but I’m kind of the opinion that we should let go and let natural selection.”

“Now Sharon, you know that dumbass is going to get himself killed without us.”

“So he needs witnesses to the eventuality?”

“I’m just going to pick him up. There are after all, a total of three sexual predators in this area.”

“You’ve got to stop obsessing over city data.”

“Still, Bill’s liable to talk to any strange man with candy.”

“In any case I get shotgun.”

“I’m taking the tiny pick up.”

“And Bill tried to set me on fire, he gets a seat in the hay.”

“Fine, let me go hit the head, then we’re off.”

“This is the last time I share my caffeine pills with the coven.”

“Well Bill is gone and my toilet’s broken. I hate teenagers.”

“Rob you’re kind of our leader so I’ll ask you.”

“Kind of? Thanks, Sharon. What?”

“If he broke your toilet does that mean there will be three of his toilets broken in his future or will there just be a septic problem or something?”

“I told Bill I did not trust him with matches, not that we don’t have any.”

“Shutting up.”