52 Pickup The Nasty Way

Andy’s beautiful black locks were strewn across Charlotte’s bed, blood dripping from the roots. His left eye was on the pillow. It may not have been the left eye but for the immediate future it was the left eye. The right socket had hardware installed already. As far as magical boyfriends go, Charlotte was realizing that vampire were a whole lot less hassle.

“Honey have you found my right arm yet? If you attach it I can help.”

“Sweety, you must be quiet.”

“Oh it so nice of you, but really nothing hurts me, definitely not talking.”

“Yeah but it freaks me the fuck out, I don’t know where your mouth is.”

“We can start with hot and cold if you like.”

She glared at him as she shoved the eye into his socket haphazardly in order to glare at him more effectively. The gaping space between his nose and his throat was truly distracting, and also the number one reason why she had to buy new linens every month. The damn thing always fell off in the throws of passion, usually mid french. When your having sex with Andy’s kind you have to expect falling parts, it comes with the territory. Doesn’t make the procedure any more fun.

As she grabbed his arm to shove it back in socket, it occurred to her that it was a rather fit arm. Every part of Andy was fit, a little too loosely actually. With a grunt, she shoved the right arm into alignment. She thanked whoever would listen that he was a slight man. She was done, as far as she cared he could stay bald.

He began moving his fingers like he had learned from Mark Hamil years prior. He quickly found his mouth under her bed. The jaws went in perfectly but the flesh drooped. With his left hand he pointed towards the rubber cement, she kept on her dresser for just such an occasion. His right hand was busy keeping his mouth shut. He got to work applying flesh to muscle in the most temporary of ways. After 15 minutes it was set.

“Wow personal best, 18 minutes.” He looked at her radio clock.

“What the hell part of being a mummy makes you fall apart during sex?”

“I don’t know Charlotte, it’s magic. We’ve been over this, I was divined to live again by Osiris himself. He hits the wine pretty hard on weekends. He makes the rules, not me.”

Charlotte started pouting.

“You forgive me yet?”

She looked into the tawny yellow of his eyes.


She could never say no to those beautiful eyes. If they were to break up, she was taking them with her.


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