Eagles Go To State, Ducks Go To Hell

“I know why I can’t find a job.”

“Oh, why’s that?”

“I’m apparently a duck.”

Tina was reading a magazine next to a piece furniture that could charitably be described as a dining room table. It was actually more of a stuff table. She was playing it over in her mind whether or not she wanted to know more a Jeff’s current eureka moment. Curiosity one out.

“Why are you a duck?”

“Because, I’m not an eagle.”

Jeffrey was of the wired world at that moment, he would come to realize what he said had made no sense. He looked a way from the monitor. The chair sounded alarm as he turned away from the workspace.

“I guess that probably warrants an explanation.”

“Warrants? I hold no such authority.”

“Still it seems it might deserve one.”

“Well, if it deserves then you must.”

“See, apparently managers don’t like hiring ducks because they have to send them to eagle school.”

“That in no way helps me.”

“It’s a metaphor, it’s about not hiring a guy that doesn’t look like the guy you need.”

“Seems like common sense, what’s with the platitude.”

“I guess people just like platitudes.”

“Ah, so what are you going to do about it?”

“Well barring a beak job, I guess I’ll have to only apply for aquatic opportunities.”

“We live in the Midwest and you can’t swim.”

“I meant metaphorically.”

“So you’re a metaphorical duck?”

“Yes. Sorry I didn’t work that into my vows.”

“S’okay, I married an unemployed loser, it’s not like my parents’ estimation of you would increase if they new you were a different species.”

“Low blow honey.”

“I would never, that’s half the reason I married you.”

“Anyways, I guess I’ll just act cuddly and quack, maybe eat worms.”

“Like at your job interview tomorrow?”

“I guess I could but I don’t think..”

“Give you five hundred bucks.”


Tina knew that one day Jeff would figure out the ins and outs of joint banking, until then she would smile maniacally.


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