The Sex of Science!

Dr. Henry Rudolph stared deeply, blankly into the streptococcus. The 100x magnification was pointless and the plasma screen he bought to view it on was terrible misappropriation. It had become apparent to him that no matter how much gamma radiation you pour into the little guys, they would not make super soldiers out of fifteen year olds. In fact, the fifteen year olds tended to die which was very rude. His grant would soon be gone and all his hopes of making a human with heat vision gone with it. Thanks to the classified nature of his work, he couldn’t even get an ignoble prize. It was sad but not unbelievable, as comic book inspired science was statistically doomed to fail.

Dr. Virgina Lockheart walked in the ten by ten foot room. The telltale clacking of her stilettos announced her well before Dr. Rudolph could see her. When she first started wearing patent leather corsets with her lab coat there were some complaints. She was the only Macarthur certified genius on staff so she was given lee way but the riding crop was pushing it. It was only a matter of time until the harassment charges went public and Dr. Lockheart was exposed for the utterly inane malicious psychopath that she was.

“Hello Dr. Rudolph, are you ready for your treatment?”

“Not quite, let me take off my pants.”

Henry removed the snap seam slacks in the most flashy fashion. His bikers legs shown proudly, shaved and sculpted.

“Operation Pants No More has reached fruition.” She spoke with glee.

The table of science (which held all manner of containers of science on top of it) was cleared. The crashing Pyrex intermingled with the bouncing sound of plastic tubs. This was their foreplay, then they moved down the periodic table, noting the mass of every atom as listed. Needless to say, Neil McDougall, supervisor of science was both dismayed and aroused. He quickly turned the corner to the open door where he saw Henry Rudolph being mounted by Virginia Lockheart.

“Henry, damn it, I could cover up for your failures in super science but now you’ve destroyed Pyrex in the pursuit of coitus. If I were to allow you to stay here, the chemists would have magnesium and I think I need that. Turn in your doctorate at the door, your through with science.”

Neil stormed off, somewhat proud of demoralizing someone bigger than him. Virginia and Henry looked at each other. They both knew that in order to be aroused, Virginia had to be with a professional.

“Don’t worry, I’ve aced the postal exam. In a few months, I will have a career again.”

“Do those blue pants come with snaps?”

“We can make adjustments, I’m sure.”


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