“I did it.”



“What in the holy fuck do you want?”

“I fucked the what.”

“What are you talking about?”

“She’s a semi gelatinous woman who lives two blocks from me. The kids call her the What. Well, the kids that survive do.”

“There are kids that don’t survive?”

“Sure her breasts are lime flavored, kids love lime and she eats the children. She’s sort of like a pitcher plant.”

“Her breasts are jello?”

“And her ass.”

“Well, of course. Wait, her main source of sustenance are the children that fall in her breast?”

“We all have to eat John, don’t be a prude.”

“I’m trying not to but your telling me that you’ve had sex with a carnivorous human/jello hybrid.”

“Omnivorous, I definitely saw some grapes while I was in there.”

“In her gelatin.”



“Her boobs were made of jiggle, I had to motorboat.”


“With a snorkel.”

“You own a snorkel?”

“I bought a snorkel.”

“Was this whole outrageous story just a means to explain why you bought a snorkel despite not knowing how to swim?”


“By saying maybe, that’s leaving the existence of a partial gelatinous woman that absorbs street urchins within the realm of possibility.”

“Is that a problem?”

“No, I think the world is more interesting with her than without her.”

“So anyways, I bought flippers too.”

“To fuck What?”

“No, To Accesorize.”

“Ah, pass the ketamine.”

“Sure thing.”

“Other than that, how was your night.”

“Pretty good.”