Codependency Is My Antidrug

“We’re a phalanx and we’re here to stop you from alcohol abuse.”

“We’re not a phalanx, we don’t have any shields or spears. We’re a human chain.”

“It’s not my fault we don’t have those, you were suppose to get the poster board and pointy things..”

“A job you tasked me with, not a job I agreed to. I told you, if we brandish weapons, this is a felony.”

“I don’t care if we’re not a phalanx, I’m still a hoplite, I brought my moon shoes and everything.”

Three friends stood out in the blistering cold, singular in purpose but schizophrenic in application. They were here to stop Nelson from entering the liquor store. While Sue and Gary were arguing, Mike was just happy to be wearing moon shoes and helping a friend. It was Tuesday and this was Nelson’s life.

“What are you guys doing here?” Nelson was tired and his eyes were barely open.

“Nelson this is an intervention.” Gary told as a matter of fact.

The sad thing was, the more his friends were around, the more he was sure that alcohol was a completely plausible solution. It was a bit of the chicken or the egg conundrum really. Nelson took out his flask and took a drink.

“Fine, I won’t smoke anymore.”

Gary stood silent while Sue glared at him. It was Gary’s job to rid the house of alcohol.

“Look, I get what you guys are doing and I appreciate your concern but have you ever stopped to think that the solution may be the bigger problem?”

“No, not really.”

Mike was always candid and Nelson loved that about him. The four stood for sometime waiting for someone to break the silence. The liquor store was less than thrilled.

“If I promise to quit drinking right now, will you go?”

The compromise achieved, the phalanx disbanded and went back to Nelson’s apartment to get hammered. Later, Nelson would have a drink too, just not right now.