Harriet Had Dated The Protagonist

Harriet’s eyes grew wide as the Yamaha Ninja burst through the plate glass window. Harriet had found herself handcuffed to a chair in the climax of an action movie. As her European hosts began firing at the motorcycle with reckless abandon, it occurred to her that this was most likely impossible. The man who was performing a somersault behind the bike with two submachine guns was not disproving this hypothesis.

Harriet had left her normal life at the entrance of the warehouse. Something had pushed her towards the open door. There she beheld box after box after box of clearly marked heroine. Somehow she knew that she would be apprehended by a tall blond man in leather. It turned out that there were ten tall blond men in black leather and they were expecting her,

She couldn’t think of a good reason why they would be expecting her but then again, she didn’t have much time to. There were only two minutes between her being handcuffed to a wooden chair and the Yamaha’s entrance. The man from behind the motorcycle was walking confidently while firing both his guns. He was wearing a speed suit and a helmet. As he came within a step of her, he removed his helmet.

She could recognized that spiky red hair anywhere; it was Paul, her high school sweetheart. As he ripped apart the joints of the wood chair, it occurred to Harriet that this was all a bit convenient.

“Paul, what am I doing here?”

“Don’t you mean wha tam I doing here?”

“You’re here to shoot up a European drug cartel.”

“True enough.”

“Are you going to answer my question?”

“As best I can tell, plot convenience.”

“What?”

“Look, I don’t tell many people this but I’m the protagonist.”

Harriet wanted to say bull but it all added up. Everything about Paul felt unnaturally dramatic. When Harriet was in high school she chalked it up to his charm but it was more than that. The reason why Paul’s story seemed so compelling was it was the main story that all side stories blossomed from.

“Here take my Glock.”

She looked down at the big piece of plastic and back at him.

“Paul, I’ve never used a gun.”

“Don’t worry, that will just make your moment of badassery more satisfying.”

“I get to have a moment of badassery?”

“Sure, your a main character now.”

With that, they were off to find a kingpin.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Carson Margedant
    Apr 18, 2011 @ 09:03:54

    I didn’t proofread the title, that’s the last time I give myself that much credit.

    Reply

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