The One Sided Romance And The Hostage Crisis

Please sit, you look tired.

Ha, the trap is sprung! There is a pressure sensor in the cushion so don’t move. If your eyes should wander you might see a wire running down that chair. It’s attached to a big pile of putty, Semtex actually. That’s high explosive my darling. If you really want us to end by all means get up. That should end us and the rest of the building. It’ll be amazing, I promise you.

Now, I know you want to leave but have you ever considered how happy you used to be with me? It can be like that, except you’ll sit there very still. Now don’t squirm for god’s sake, you’re likely to set off the bomb. For the love of all that’s holy don’t get up.

Okay fine, there was no bomb. I stapled electrical wires to a chair and attached it to molding clay. Really, can you blame me for wanting to keep what we have going?

Fine, yes you can blame me but you shouldn’t.

Because I love you.

No, I don’t think that knife is really necessary, I let myself out.