Dualbooting With A Dead Man

“Your motherboard is haunted.”

Momma always said that if something sounds to good to be true, it probably is. This was a free computer checkup.

“Did you find any malware?”


“Okay, but do I have any bad sectors?”


“Any problems at all?”

“Other than the ghost?”

“I was hoping you were being facetious.”

“I never joke about the dead.”

I’m staring down his long brown strands of hair, counting almost ten years worth of grooming that endx below the waste. It’s beautiful, immaculate, and clearly the only part of his body that he cares about. There’s pack of smokes in the left pocket of his open bathrobe and a gut barely contained by overextended pair of sweatpants. We’re in a strip mall, in a store he owns and I get the impression there is a cot in back.

“I’m sorry but to be fair, I hardly know you.”

“It’s alright.”

“So, a ghost?”

“Koji Matsuda he says.”

“Has my motherboard ever been to Japan?”


“So, how does that work?”

“Koji’s parents were immigrants, which you wouldn’t know anything about as Haupstead is obviously a well known Miami name.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to insult.”

“Mark of a good man. Anyways yeah, this guy died on the assembly line. He apparently didn’t want to go.”

“I’m sorry I must admit, I’m still a bit skeptical.”

“A mark of a wise man. I have a special diagnostics CD.”

“A CD that allows you to talk to dead people?”

“And it can run Windows from a virtual environment inside Linux.”

I’m not all that impressed.

“Anyways, it’ll cost seven bucks.”

“For an exorcism?”

“Don’t be crude, Koji’s a nice guy. No, to give him a little home. I’ve got a 40 gig Pata and I see you’ve got room in your case and a port on said accursed motherboard.”

So, me and Koji share a computer now. He’s really a pretty nice guy, do wish he spoke English but we both speak a little Spanish.

Say Ola Koji.


I guess he’s asleep.