A Crash Course In Anachronistic Warfare

The Franciscan throwing ax was a surprise to Elliot but the fact that there was a man with an ax coming at him was way more than a surprise. The berserker stuck in a wood post was more of a near death experience. The ax was a lost cause and soon the snarling beast of biped was back at Elliot with a sharp little dirk. Elliot was moving backwards faster than he ever knew possible, reeling in memory and trying to predict the future all at once. In a word: multitasking.

In a parking lot outside a bar, Elliot had found a ball peen hammer. As he came back from his stoop, he saw a man wearing fur and screaming holy hell coming straight at him. Elliot started to run towards people, that is to say running back tothe bar. Sadly, the battle was joined at the awning. The only happy part was the hammer which for some ungodly reason made Elliot feel safer.

Back in the stabbing motion of the dirk, Elliot was moving at a circle strafe barely skating around a brick wall. In two fifths of a second later, the hammer came into the offender’s forehead and suddenly the battle was done. Apparently there was no helmet underneath that long mane of hair. It was only then that he realized that three hours earlier, this man had been wrong about the superiority of the old Battlestar Galactica.

Conventions were apparently more serious than Elliot had previously thought.


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