The Baby After The Sad Drunken Bloody Sticky Night

The sound is that of a toaster meeting a compactor or a shriek meeting an old dial up modem. She is shrill and six months old and for a moment Ben is capable of killing her. The moment passes but those moments always scare Ben. If the world moves just a little differently one day maybe he will. It occurs to Ben that maybe, everyone thinks this from time to time. The difference is, Ben has proof that he could kill.

The moment stays in the back of his mind. It starts with a drink and then a bit later, a bouncer is involved. Suddenly, Ben is outside in the cold night air. Ben is walking back… east. Seeing as though home is two miles west, it’s safe to say it’s taking Ben a good while to get home. Ben hobbles on, unsure of why he was going east or more importantly why his father bought him a compass in the first place. He wanted a giraffe.

Downtown is a labyrinth to the 80 proof set and Ben is no different. He gives up on going east and tries his hand at finding a donut shop. He makes sure to look at the compass at all times in order to know how far the donut shop is. Of course, the compass can’t tell him this. Ben is pretty sure it’s a design flaw.

Then out of the steam and smokes, enters a man just like Orson Welles. Actually he’s of slight build and has nowhere near the memorable face but Ben was later sure that the man’s entrance was just like the second man in the movie The Third Man. This other man has a knife and wants money. Ben wants a bed.

A fight ensues, actually it’s just a push and then a wine bottle and then a dead man. Ben sobers with the dead man as the police come; 911 had been called by the donut store across the street. There were eyewitnesses galore and everyone vindicated him, except Ben. Ben never vindicates Ben and never would. In his eyes, he is a murder.

But Melissa needs a new diaper and the rest can wait.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Carson Margedant
    Jul 15, 2011 @ 11:21:15

    I’m sorry you might be confused, the joke is he’s emotionally scarred for life. *Jazz hands* Comedy!


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