In The Sixth Millenium, Bug Women Are Easy

In the hundred little fragments of her vision, Aiden saw himself a hundred times and imagined them all as him in alternate realities seconds different from his own reality. Val smiled across the table while inhaling tarry smoke. She tried not to ask what’s a woodpecker and why’s it on your ass. He tried not to ask how sex works with a bug woman. The restaurant served Neuvo Baha Canadian, neither Aiden nor Val wanted to what that was.

Um, so what is it like being a member of a dying species?”

“Surprising. Full of new information.”

“You didn’t know?”

Aiden’s life was full of things he didn’t know and that didn’t exactly bug, ahem, irritate him. What irritated him was a sudden expiration made apparent.


“Oh right, Ihkay told me you were a freezer bag. From the twenty first century right?”

The nuances of this language were somewhat disappointing.

“Yeah, so you can understand I’m a bit troubled by the idea that my species is endangered. Last, I checked I was one of seven billion humans.”

“About 100,00 now. There was a plague, which dwindled your numbers down from 10 million.”

“Wow, that’s a difference.”

“Yeah, um Ihkay said it was due to…” Val’s antenna stretched towards the candelabra. “a rise in good healthcare, longevity and uh, safe sex.”

“So it turns out we were copulating because we were scared.”

“It’s why Mom keeps going at it. There’s been ten generations in the five years I’ve been gone, does it everytime someone leaves the hive. The idea of birthdays makes my wallet shutter and wince.”

“Oh that’s right, you don’t actually…”

Little lines of curving black drew his eyes to her four wing, which were exposed thanks to the low cut black dress. By Aiden’s estimation the wings were evolutionary holdovers as they could not possibly hold up her incredible bosom. Apparently, her family was as closely related to mammal as they were to insect. However, her legs seemed to have been stolen straight off Jessica Rabbit’s hips.

“For Gods sake, just ask.”

“How does bug sex work?”

“Well, the waiter hasn’t come back yet and I’m pretty sure the food would poison me anyways.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying why don’t we find out how it works.”

“How long has it been?”

“Six years. You?”

“Four thousand in deep freeze, five years before that.”

There was a pause and then there was a furious race for the door. Aiden suddenly realized they were going to her apartment two blocks away, for which he had no key. He still ran. She made leaping, and for moments at least, flying gallops ahead of him. Interspecies relations were soon to follow.


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