Paranoia: Travel Edition

“This is a Police Positive.”

“And that’s a Mercedes Kompressor behind us.”

“Why do you have a revolver in your glove compartment?”

“Because sometimes there are Kompressor’s tailing me.”

“So you think you’re being chased by a mid life crisis and your plan is to shoot it?”

“My plan is to not be cornered.”

“Let me be direct, I’m not sticking my ass out of this car and shooting at some poor schmuck with hair implants.”

“How do you know know he’s got plugs?”

“I’m just painting a picture.”

“You always assume people to be the worst.”

“You’re right, sometimes I can be judgmental, but I draw the line at executioner.”

“Just point it out the back of the window and shoot. Try to scare him.”


“All you have to due is pull the trigger and he’ll go away.”

“Are you 5? Does your understanding of firearms come from something you gleamed from Starsky & Hutch while high on model glue?”

“Look I’m telling you, if he catches up to us it will be bad news.”

“I’m telling you that state police don’t take kindly to shoot… Damn it!”


“We crossed state lines with a loaded firearm.”

“Oh, yeah that. Really it’s only illegal if you get caught.”

“I’m afraid that firearm legislation doesn’t work quite like Tinker Bell. It doesn’t care if you clap your hands, it is still there.”

“Oh just give it here, I’ll do it.”

“Actually, I think he just turned off.”

“Never mind then, my bad really.”

“So… next exit has an Arby’s and I am kind of hungry.”

“There’s a Cabrio two cars back and it’s been there for a while. Do you think the Germans might be spying on us?”

“Why can’t we just play roadkill bingo?”