The Explicated Mormonic Woman

Wow, that scone looks good.

This seat taken?

I asked because I’m a gentleman.

I sat here before asking because I’m sadly impulsive.

I’m not one to pry but I must ask, do you know you’re a Mormon?

I don’t know why you are, you just kinda look like a latter day type.

I think it’s just that I think you’d be at home in a tabernacle.

Yes, I understand that you’re waiting for someone. I just thought you looked lonely and Mormonic.

No, I said Mormonic.

It means pertaining to Mormonism.

So I made the word up, doesn’t mean I don’t know the definition. I mean if anyone knows, I would.

Well, weightlifting and gun collecting are both quite engrossing hobbies. I’m sure he’s very satisfied. I for one would like to collect model trains, after I meet Misses Right.

Ah yes, well, I guess I should get back to the point. I just think that you and your boyfriends would be happier as Mormons. I’ve got some pamphlets somewhere.

Okay, have you perchance considered the loving guidance of Ahura Mazda? He’s really in with the indy crowd.

Of course there are indy gods: you have your Cthulu, your Spaghetti Monster and let us not forget MacGuyver. Oh and Bacchus but really he’s more a frat thing.

Oh no ma’am, I’m an atheist.

Well I assumed, you do look like a Mormon.

Fine ma’am I’ll leave, but you don’t have to be so rude.

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. pouringmyartout
    May 05, 2012 @ 20:15:33

    This is so subtly weird that I find myself loving it without knowing exactly why. You rock.


  2. Evelyn
    May 05, 2012 @ 20:28:46

    ha! Clever as always…


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