Somewhere Down the Reincarnation River Deeply in Love

Todd’s falling down the karma valley and he doesn’t know where precisely it ends. He was the boar that ended with the wolf, taking the wolf down with him. Then he was a dog and she was a cat and he chased her into a puddle with a live wire accompanying. They went up and down the food chain, spider/fly, cat/mouse, bat/wildebeest(?). Each time they ended together and it was messy every time. Then Todd was a boy and she was a girl named Stephanie. He goes in for a kiss. She throws him to the ground and goes back to jump rope. The tumbling continues.

Abbott Loves Costello

“By Robert Frost’s homophobic horse, those eggs were bad.”

“I’m not questioning that first clause. I’m done being your straight man.”


“As long as your happy I’m happy.”

“See the joke is…”

“The joke is gay, that’s always the punchline with you.”

“That’s not true. Sometimes it’s penis.”

“Okay, but why do you always try for the most immature joke possible?”

“Because you laugh.”

“Yeah, but you can do better.”

“I can, but I know I can make you laugh this way.”

“Sometimes you have to risk bombing in order to get better at joking.”

“But why should I risk making you happy?”

“Maybe I want something different?”

“Are you saying you want to try men?”


“Not even Cody Yuen?”

“That doesn’t count, he’s on my mancrush list and you know it. It’s fantasy.”

“Oh, just not me then?”

“No, I didn’t say that! I just…”

“…want something else.”

“something more serious. I guess.”

“And I’m to silly for that.”

“Stop breaking us up. I’ve loved you since Brownies. I loved you in college and there were way hotter girls there.”

“So why didn’t you marry one?”

“Because I want to marry you, you dumb dirl.”

“So, we’re not breaking up.”


“I can continue making bad jokes and you can continue laughing at them?”

“Seems that way.”

“Okay. A family walks into a talent agency. It’s a father, mother, son…”


Damning Words Made of Rust, Never to be Seen

The words are rust on a platter and obscured among a million other bytes of data. The platter is firmly screwed into a hard drive and the hard drive sits in a box under Beth’s bed. If the platters still moves, if it still reads, if Beth has the foresight to own the proper adapter, she might find a .rtf. It’s a bomb on a four gigabyte hard drive and it’s poised to destroy us if it’s found.

It was a different time when Windows 98 was king and no one I knew had a password on their machine. I would sneak in and write silly things, stories mostly. That’s where these words started then about a hundred backspaces later I was writing a confession. It was in bold red 14 point Papyrus and looked tacky as all hell. For five hundred words, I write of ass and tits and all those other things I told myself this thirteen year old girl had. It’s pretty much graffiti but that’s not why the hard drive scares me.

Somewhere in there my thoughts warp as if affected by sudden heat. I start to write about your chapped and awful lips and I can’t think of anything more I’d want to kiss. Then I think of those diamonds that were in your teeth and I realize that those were braces that I was staring at. I had seen one of the great horrors of dental plans and came out more enamored. Being a man of stupid convictions, I saved, closed the window and walked away.

Every time I’m in her room, I look at that box of components past underneath her bed and I think, if she just gave me 5 minutes I could get rid of that old hard drive and she’d never know. Of course, she’s given me 10 and 20 before, so I wonder how much of my stupid convictions I still have left. She never will plug that ATA hard drive in again. Maybe, that makes me sad.

Mary you still warp me.

From Under The Blue, Into The Black

I love Desmond Carter and he loves me. Do you hear me Alpha Centauri? The police are coming and I’m not supposed to be using this array, so I need to ask you a question. It’s a silly question and I know the answer but I have to ask. If I don’t ask, I’ll never forgive myself. Have you seen my Desmond Alpha Centauri? He closed his eyes and he left me. I’m pretty sure I know exactly where he is but just in case you do see my husband, tell him to come back home. Tell him, I miss him.

Cat6 Romance

Cheryl was breathing heavily; Miles was panicking. He was trying to find new drivers and there was very little time. Life had been different since Miles had modded his wife. It was just a little hard drive and an Ethernet port installed in the spine but it was a big step in there relationship. Miles asked her for her permission and she was all but giddy but something nagged at him. He knew he wasn’t going to stop there. He knew that sooner or later, she’d want more capabilities to go with that new connectivity.

Human supplemental OS was the hemorrhaging edge of software. As usual, the pioneers were those acolytes of flightless birds, linux users. There was no stable build quite yet. Some genotypes were having trouble with cardiac infarctions, some were having grand mal seizures and some just stop living entirely. Luckily, the respiratory issues were known and solutions were available for Caucasians running on x86.

“Honey, we have to reset.”

Cheryl looked at her husband. It was a soft boot but she knew that there were no guarantees.

“I don’t want to go.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

Cheryl held her husband’s two chins and he stared into the small mousy creature he loved so much. The stumpy blond with the thick rimmed glasses and the waifish ginger kept their eyes on each other for a whole minute before Miles pulled away to type ominously.


Her head sank and he could see her vitals flat line. There was a brutal fifteen seconds still to traverse. Between counting hippopotamuses, it occurred to Miles that at least for this brief period, he was responsible for his wife’s death. He came to the fifteenth hippo and knew her to be gone. Then he heard her make a monkey sound. She had successfully logged in.

“I hear music.”

She heard heavy metal to be specific. It was blasting right in her head. For seventy years, the military had searched for voice of god technology and now Cheryl had it. Cheryl also had incredibly instant messaging and the ability to read HTML subconsciously. All and all it was a pretty good, save for the death.

“Do you know what ubuntu means?”

Miles was still in awe of the miracle he had witnessed and was almost deaf to her. She stood and closed the laptop.

“It means sharing right?”

She unhooked the cord from the laptop and moved her chair next to Miles. She sat down presenting him with a relatively new sort of intimacy. Slowly, he groped around his back for the proper port. The cable snapped in just fine.

Miles79: Um, Hi

Ginger4ever: ❤ U

Miles79: ❤ U 2 Hon.

She Was Home And He Was A Happy Housekeeper

He tended to come back in her as if home, he could never quite explain it. She was Rubenesque and it was easy to lose himself inside her massive heavenly host. He would give as much as he had to her, a drone to her queen. In his self imposed subjugation, he found bliss and wonder in her service. Paul would leave ever morning and return in the evening, to his house and his beloved warm home inside.

Gloria cried most days, sitting deep in her prison, waiting for a conjugal visit.

Their Romantic Asymmetries


“Hi hon.”

“Cock de la?”

“Don’t be rude.”

This was Victor’s life and Leslie never made it easy. He couldn’t work prepositions and articles were alien but Leslie could do it all from the gendered nouns, to addressing inferiors and superiors. Victor’s English was a Sasha Baron Cohen caricature and Leslie’s Russian was sometimes Potemkin. There was much inequity between them.

“Cock de la?”

“Pretty Harasho.”

Rusglish, she spoke it only to get that that irritated look in his eyes. She had her hands around his shoulders, looking down. This was another one of those inequities she was bringing front and center. He looked up into her sable hair and darker still eyes. She was a calm mountain.

“Ah ewe tebya?”

He thought and arranged carefully the sounds.

“Better every moment.”

There was really only one area where the inequities leaned to his favor. Shad had a small hairy faced Slav with a shaved head and a strange temperate. He had something tall, bountiful, smart and bold. When push came to shove, Victor never felt cheated.